I have been alone this weekend and I have been thinking quite a lot. A year ago I was in the middle of a painful but very needed break-up. 2 years ago I was starting to realize that I wasn’t happy in that relationship but it was agreed upon that it was something that needed to be worked on. I learned a lot from all of this. The main thing I realized is that I will never WORK on a relationship that I know has ended. I learned quite a lot over the past 2 years but mostly in the last Year. When it was finally over I was not looking for another relationship but maybe I was. I did know that I was just SO unhappy in Indiana. In October I started talking to a person who seemed to have so much in common with me and someone who I just had a good feeling about. I knew it was going to be about 3-4 months before I was going to be able to move. When I finally did meet Chris in December it was truly Love at first sight. When I finally got to Phoenix in the middle of January we went head on into a relationship. Around the end of March I was wondering if I had done the right thing. I talked to Chris and he was wondering the same thing. Did we rush into this to fast? After a couple of weeks wondering… We realized that we had differences but they could be worked out and we started to enjoy each other a lot more. Things have been great since then. Chris is an actor and a very emotional person and so am I. Chris is a moody person…. Ken was moody and I hate it. It gets on my nerves because I am .. by nature a happy person. I have learned to deal with that better than I did with Ken. I only put up with what I can and then ENOUGH. I never learned to say enough with Ken. I should have.
I know from talking to Ken that he has been seeing someone and I am so glad for him. He deserves happiness and he was never going to get that with me as long as I was stuck in Indiana. I hope he keeps an open mind with this guy and is not so judgemental with him as he was with me. Right before I moved out I had an opportunity to have a 4 hour talk 
with his Ex-wife, Mary. I have always liked Mary and she SO enlightened me on some things about Ken which all proved to be true. With his education and Job comes an arrogance that is very off-putting. I believe until he finds someone with an equal education and status…who is also gay. Nothing will work. I think he may have found it. I really hope so.
I believe I have found a Lifemate in Chris. It is so different from relationships before. There is both physical and mental attraction. We seem to have the same taste in things and both have the same goals in life. I sometimes believe Ken gave up on me to early. But he did the right thing. So did I. Here in Phoenix I have begun to really find my place in life. I know it will be a journey of a few years.. But well worth it!!!
